From the voluminous, still-to-be-indexed FBI wiretaps of Illinois Gov. Rod R. Blagojevich:
The governor: "Molly, get me Satan on the phone."
[Individual believed to be the governor's secretary]: "Who?"
RB: "You know – Lucifer, Beelzebub, el diablo, whatever. His number's in the black Rolodex. Chop-chop."
(Sound of phone ringing, then roaring flames.)
RB: "Hello? Hello?"
[Individual believed to be Mr. Satan]: "Who's this?"
RB: "Yo, bro, it's me. Rod the Mod."
S: "I told you never to call on the land line."
RB: "Aw, chill out. You think the feds are smart enough to bug my office? Let's chat."
S: "Make it fast. I've got Cheney on hold."
RB: "OK, here's the deal – how'd you like to buy my soul?"
S: "You've been doing Jello shooters again, haven't you?"
RB: "No, I'm dead sober. I'm offering to sell my mortal soul to you, the devil, in exchange for a Cabinet position in the new administration."
S: "Thanks, but no way am I moving to Washington. It's much nicer here."
RB: "The job's not for you, dude; it's for me! Here's how the deal would go down – I'd get the Cabinet post, you'd get my soul for all eternity. What do you say?"
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