Today, in the spirit of the holidays and the hit television series “Glee,” we present a sneak preview of “2010 – The Musical.”
“THE GREAT RECESSION”
– sung to the tune of “The Great Pretender” by the Platters (ask your parents or grandparents.)
Oh yes, I’m the Great Recession (oo-ooh, oo-ooh)
Pretending that I’ve gone away (oo-ooh, oo-ooh)
I’ve done enough,
But times are still tough
I’m over but no one can tell
Oh yes, I’m the Great Recession (oo-ooh, oo-ooh)
Some of you still own a home (oo-ooh, oo-ooh)
The temperature’s brisk, there are jobs still at risk
You open your bills with a groan
Too real is this feeling of déj vu (oo-ooh, oo-ooh)
Economists have a job, what they lack is a clue
Oh yes, I’m the Great Recession (oo-ooh, oo-ooh)
You wonder why I’m still around (oo-ooh, oo-ooh)
I still have work, I continue to lurk
I’m turning your hopes into frowns
Too real is this feeling of déj vu
Politicians want our vote, while we stand in the queue
Pretending the skies will turn blue.
“I BELIEVE I MIGHT FLY”
– sung by the first 787 Dreamliner
(with apologies to R. Kelly, something I never thought I would say)
I used to think the next deadline
Would yet again become a bad headline
Chicago bosses had me in a bind
They all had Carolina on the mind
If I can’t see it, then I can’t read it
I don’t believe it, there’s nothing to it
I believe I might fly
I believe I might touch the sky
I think about it after each delay
Back to the hangar do I roll away
I believe I might soar
With carbon wings still holding to my core
I believe I might fly
I believe I might fly
I believe I might fly
See I was on the verge of catching fire
Now my panels need a full rewire
One more issue for the feds to delve
I just might fly again by twenty twelve
If I can dream it, I can see it
If I outsource it, I can be it
I believe I might fly
I believe on that you can rely
Machinists fix me every night and day
So I might finally shed my wheels of clay
I believe I might soar
I see me rolling out that hangar door
I believe I might fly
I believe I might fly
I believe I might fly
“TOUCHA-TOUCHA-TOUCHA TOUCH ME”
– sung by American air travelers (with apologies to Richard O’Brien and “The Rocky Horror Picture Show.”)
I was feelin’ stressed out, had-ta shout.
I’d not been stranger-frisked before
(You mean he? Uh huh.)
Full-body silhouetting, is the price of jetting
But it could lead to trouble and junk-petting.
All I want to know, is how not to go
To Naval Base Guantanamo
(Mo, Mo, Mo)
I’ll raise not one objection, ’cept my blushed complexion
But after our time together, show some affection.
Toucha-toucha-toucha touch me.
My flight’s at 10:30
Nab me, grab me and jab me
Creature of our fright.
What if anything shows, while I pose?
Then you’ll show up and pat me down
(Down, Down, Down)
It’s just one violation, by a panicked nation
You have a white-gloved hand, I’m on vacation.
Toucha-toucha-toucha touch me,
I’m off to New Jersey
Move me, groove me, approve me.
Creature of our fright.